The Best Man speech is usually reserved to compliments to the bride, a few subtle jabs to the groom and mostly happy wishes to the new couple. How boring! If that’s not your style, follow these 4 simple steps to creating the most embarrassing (for you and the couple) best man speech ever.
Step 1: Enjoy Cocktail Hour – Enjoy it a lot!
Open bar? Time to take advantage. You want to make sure there are no nerves when you stand up for that toast. Better yet, make sure you have no feeling left in your legs. The coordinator can just prop you up or spot you in case you fall. Liquid courage makes everything better.
Step 2: Don’t prepare anything
Now that your mind is good and loose it’s time to wing it. If you go on a tangent about bologna sandwiches, go with it. Ramble until the crowd claps you off stage. The bride is going to love it!
Step 3: Tell awful and embarrassing stories about the Bride.
Best man speeches are nothing without a hint of humor. So now is the time to tell them all about that one time the bride got hammered and started dancing on tables. It’s extra funny if her 92 year old grandma is there to hear. It’s exactly what she wants everyone to know on the biggest day of her life!
Step 4: Talk about the Groom’s Ex-Girlfriends
Remember Becky from college? Man, was she hot. Now that your bro is officially taken, it’s time to ask if you can give her a call.